Thursday, April 16, 2015

I Heard Bone Crack - It was An Awesome Roundhouse Kick

I don't know how I got there, I just was there.  And facing me was a 5'3" weight lifter dude laughing at me.

Totally against who I am, seemingly in black and white time slip space, I executed 3 awesome slide up machine gun side kicks knee, groin face, and the "dude" just danced out of the way laughing.

Being the awesome fighter that I knew I was, even before my front foot hit the ground, I knew he was faster than I could ever be, so I planed and executed a rear leg front kick with all the power and speed I had.  Again, the "Dude" just danced out of the way, still laughing.

Now, I was pissed.  Didn't he know who I was?  So, again, before I put my front foot down, I switched to a roundhouse kick, an the time between planting my front foot and the solid crack of bone seemed to shrink to nothingness.  I knew I was going to take the "dude" out, and I heard and felt that kick hit.  Since I saw it coming, somewhat in energy collection and somewhat in celebration, I let out a total body kiah.

And yet, there was another anomaly I noticed while I was still re-chambering the Kick.  My foot hurt. I don't kick with my toes, but rather the lower part of my leg, so I was confused as t o why I had this shooting pain in my foot.

Then, in a flash, it got really weird.

I noticed I was sitting.  Just how the heck did that happen.

Then I noticed the pain was real and centered on my right great toe.  It felt like I broke several toes.

-----------------------------   Break in the Action--------------------------

Then I noticed that I was sitting in bed, the clock shinning 3 am, my wife asleep next to me.

Just a dream.

Wooooo.  Weird dream.  I don't have karate dreams or fight dreams.  Really weird.

-------------   Are you sure you are ready for this? ---------

Then, the pain in my toe overcame everything, forcing me to notice two things:

1) My foot really hurt - no dream,
2) I was still screaming.

Seems in the dream, when I threw the round house kick, being the good student that I am, I fully rotated my hip and kicked the knell wall, leaving a bare spot of missing plaster.

Gonna lose the toenail too.

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Though this story actually happened 2 days ago and is only a joke in retrospect, there is a plethora of Karate Humor books, and The Best Karate Joke Book is a very worthy one, and it's less than a buck.






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